Spinning Yarn with Purpose

 Guys, as I see things in life, everyone of us has these moments when we come to the crossroads in our lives. I am not talking about once or twice moments, but many over our lifetime. As I see it, we have been created with a purpose and therefore, whether we are conscious of it or not, we have also been given a free will to make our own choices when we decide to make a choice for doing anything. That's one of the greatest gifts given to human beings by "The Creator." When I decided early on in my life that I was gonna be a "Cholo", that was my choice. After I was severely chastised by The Law and cliqued by Locos from other places, those were the negative side effects for my choice. "God" is wise and that is why "He" made us free will agents. Also, when I selected that crazy pretty Mexican girl that I walked up to one day and told her that she was gonna be my wife, and she said that I was crazy, you see that was a cross road moment. I decided that I wanted that girl and none other! 

I didn't consult "God" or family or friends, or any stranger in the streets about what they thought that I should do. Therefore, who bears the blame for that decision, me of course. And yes the pretty young Mexican girl bears culpability too for falling for the Snake's charming love words and afterwards marrying me. We all have to live with our choices that we make, good or bad. What I should have done when I first saw that pretty sweet smelling flower among her mothers front garden, was leave her alone. Because as I reflect back to when I plucked her away from where she belonged, I knew that I lacked seriously in the social graces. And I sure wasn't cultured nor refined in civilized polities. That girl should have been with someone who was stable and balanced. Well it's too late to cry about spilled milk now. 

Okay, let's take another example, one who decides to invest in some kind of investment and who loses all their money. Who do you blame? Do you blame The Wolves at Wall Street or yourself?  The Cross Roads are many and varied, just like being in a Carnival. Did you know that my pretty Mexican girl didn't love me at first when I boldly told her you are mine forever! And do know that our 41 years together in marriage was hit and miss throughout those years. And there were times she wanted to walk out the door, but I told her that if she left me I was walking out the door with her too. And I told her, wherever you go I'll go. And there were times I wanted to walk out on her, but she would tell me, "Leave me if you can." And as I sat in my car ready to book out of her life, I looked ahead of me, and there in front of me was The Crossroads. Yes there was the temptation tugging at me to leave, but in the end after all was said and done, it's me who bears culpability and complicity for the final decision. My wife died 10 years ago. And although we lived like most married people do, a rocky kind of life sprinkled with love, romance, jealousies, and hate, I did care for her a lot. So much so that I had a dream about her about four years ago. 

This dream came unexpectedly because now I have so many other things on my mind. And even at my late age now I still talk with beautiful single middle aged women. And even though my physical health is ailing I still have hobbies like hiking and searching for ancient stone sculpted artifacts. And I love to read and write and so on. But anyway, here is the dream. As the dream opens, I see that I am in an open countryside setting. It is day time and the dream is in color. The area that I am standing in is grassy and flatland. And as I stand there looking all around to see where I landed this time, I see a man standing next to me who wasn't there when the dream unfolded at the beginning. And he is looking forward in front of us. Then he begins to talk to me and he calls me by my first name. I am not startled by this because many others call me by my name in my dreams. And I don't know this man at all. However, he is friendly. Then as I am looking forward ahead of me, about 100 feet in front of us, I see about 20 or more beautiful young girls in their late teens and with different skin colors standing looking at us. Then the man says to me, "Ruben, you can pick any one of those girls for your wife, but you can only pick one." And from where I stood... I scanned sideways back and forth because these young girls are all beautiful and it was difficult for an eclectic kind of person like me to decide. Talk about The Crossroads. Well, as I scanned back and forth among those gems, I had to stop once I saw the one that I wanted and Liked without a doubt. And I said to the man, "Okay, can I go pick one now?" And the man said, "Yes." So without hesitation, and I mean none at all, I walked fast to that girl that I liked, and I stood in front of her as she smiled at me and I at her. And then I stooped my right shoulder at her waist and scooped her whole body up literally and threw her over my right shoulder with her head and face facing forward. And I walked off with her as her face and head bounced up and down, and she was laughing like crazy as she did. And then like someone unseen in the dream with a Zoom in camera, zoomed in on this girl's face. And the young beauty was my wife like when I saw her when she was 17 years old. She was young and beautiful, and I told her as I took off with her on my shoulder, "You're mine forever!" 

To love someone takes work and effort. It's the journey Baby that makes the world go 'round. It takes dedication and loyalty and fidelity. It's a labor of love. And hard work to keep "The Wolves away", like "Uncle Lucius" used to say. But now she is gone too. However, and nonetheless, I can still hear now someone saying "Someone please bring Ruben a chair and a very large bowl of some more of Life's special  homemade Soup of Regrets! Make it a big bowl of China and Let him sit down at the great table with the Kings, Queens, Pharaohs, Dictators, Criminals, Politicians, and Bankers, and let him listen to; again and again, John Conlee's song, "A lot of Things different. Yes I know that God is a Good God! "He" has given us the right and freedom to make our own choices. Just like the devil can't make us do anything against our will, well "God" is not gonna force us to do anything either. Thus and therefore we cannot blame anyone for our choices that we make in life. We make our bed and so we sleep in it. Later, if things don't turn out right, turn on Don Williams song that says, "Lord I hope this day is good." 

Guys, it is a pleasure to spin yarn and paint pictures with Words with you today, and ride out there in nostalgia's dusty country roads on bicycles into the sunset. Dorothy was right, "There is no place like home."  That's all for tonight, so let us sleep on that. 

Thank you again. Love Always Amigos! 

Respectfully,      

                                                                                                      Ruben N. Gutierrez