You can't die to what you're running from!

 I can't remember the exact day of the year now, but it was a bright sunny morning sometime around the first of July 1967. I was at the lock up with my friends and other guys doing time here too. My friends and I were at this time, along with a few other guys there, waiting for our transport to Mountain View School from Hill Top the next morning. Therefore this day held great apprehension for us as we nervously waited this last day at Hill Top. And I remember that when we went to breakfast this morning, Marcos Martinez raised the issue at the kitchen table that we should at least try to escape one last time before it was too late to do so. I didn't like the idea but I said okay. About five other guys there also agreed to run that day with us at the last supper coming back from the kitchen. Of all those guys that I didn't know outside of being together at lock up, only one guy will become prominently imprinted in my mind even to this day. His name is Fernando from Houston, Texas. On that evening as we returned from chow and we were being marched back to the lock up building, the sun was still over the western horizon, but lazily going down. And just as we had turned to stop on the side of the building, Marcos and the gang took off for the woods down past the Riverside School. One of the guards that was about to open the door was shocked at all the commotion, as his keys shook in his hands and he looked in every direction all at once and tried to follow all the sounds of all the feet hitting the pavement and running off screaming, "Vamonos!" And as my friends and others took off, the other guard behind us started pushing the other non participants in this event... fast towards the open door. I was still undecided and standing in the back of a middle row and watching everything unfolding before my eyes. It was crazy! As I watched, like when we see things in slow motion, I saw these people in a real panic situation. I mean  everybody was caught off guard, and I was still there standing and vacillating between should I go or stay? And as the guards shoved about 40 other people into the building trying to keep them from running too; and they screamed nervously for everyone standing there to come inside, I felt my two feet begin to hit the pavement and run. And so I dashed like that grey hound dog and I ran and weaved by buildings so fast that all I can remember as I ran, I was thinking to myself, where are the other guys? And as I ran across the highway and searched for traces of the guys ahead of me, I saw that all these guys had disappeared and were completely gone. They had disappeared so fast ahead of me that I could now hear the dogs barking loudly and loosed, and coming after us. And for you guys that remember Gold Mama and Blue, you know what we were going through. And they were not the only two. It was a pack of Blood Hounds and Hound dogs, and men on horses and jeeps, and I was way behind from my pack. And as I was running and now approaching the river, I felt like I was flying because my feet felt no ground underneath. Then I remember falling and landing on my belly on rock bed hard. And at that time I felt that was a goner because there were no trees to climb nearby. And as I looked back to see why I had fallen, I saw that I had gone over a steep small stepped cliff on this rock bed. And as I gazed to the far back, I saw the horses coming, but the dogs had taken after the others because they didn't see me fall. So I crawled fast to the overhang of this small cliff and I rolled myself under and stayed quiet. Then the horses and the jeeps dashed past me and kept going. So I waited for darkness to really fall and blanket me so that in its darkness I could keep trying to make my escape. That's when I see Fernando walking back from the woods towards my direction. He hadn't seen me yet until I called him over to my hideout. And when I saw him I felt a sigh of relief because now I didn't have to travel through this unknown country alone. So we stayed there until dark and waited until we could hear no more commotion from the guards and dogs. And when it was quiet and dark, we headed towards the river to cross it  because once we were across, it was a wide open country out there. And we had a lot of woods to cover us and hide us. Further, we were very young and could move fast and cover a great deal of land. And this is why I will never forget Fernando from Houston, Texas brothers and sisters. Because when we got to the river bank to cross it, I said to Fernando, "Fernando I will cross first and then you follow." But here is what Fernando says to me, "Ruben..., I don't know how to swim!"  And that's why I was going back when I saw you under the ledge." Then I was shocked at what he said and couldn't believe this guy. And like I said, I didn't  know him and I never even learned from what School he had been sent up from, nor anything about him. All I remember was that he was not a very true type of gangster. He had the mannerisms of a good kid but for some reason he got caught doing something bad here, and out in the free world because he was being shipped to the meanest School at Gatesville Reform School at Mountain View. So I was disappointed with this outcome but I tried to make the best of it because he was after all a comfort to me because I was not alone. Fernando was fighting against his fears and I was fighting my own fears too. So we evened things' out and I said to him that night, "Okay, Fernando, let's walk along the edge of the river moving south until we can find a shallow area to cross. I told him this because we needed to get over to the west bank of the river because the town of Gatesville was approaching up ahead of us. And we didn't want to chance it going through the town or neighborhoods. And down by the town we did find a low narrow bridge going over this river that would get us to the west bank temporarily as we would bypass the town of Gatesville.. After that we stayed on that eastside crossing, we stayed on that side of the river and walked all night through tall grass and crazy woods that we didn't know. Nonetheless, we couldn't find a shallow area further ahead to cross back over to the East bank where we needed to be once we had cleared the town. Maybe there was, but at night in that darkness we couldn't see well. Then late into the night we heard loud guns' firing and so we stopped until that was over. Later we found out that it was a White family pooping fireworks and announcing the 4th of July way out there in the middle of nowhere. Hell, we didn't pay attention to holidays there in the reform school; one day was just like the next day, full of excitement, mingled with joy and misery. So that threw us for a loop. After that delay we kept going until we were far away from this town. By then we were tired and exhausted from walking through these thick and tall grasses and we didn't know where we were headed. And as we were walking and Fernando was leading the way this time, we heard the loudest damn screech that sounded like some angry old woman just jumped straight up in the air in front of us and it was a big tall skinny white thing. And Fernando fell backwards and let out a scream of fear and because he got scared I jumped back and stared at this ghost looking thing as it jumped with the greatest of ease straight up in the air and spread its wings wide as it stared at us. And in mid-air that shit let out one more terrifying loud screech and then flew away. Then Fernando and I burst out in laughter because we scared a crane out of its sleep. And that crane put us to sleep because every time that we looked for a shallow area to ford or cross over that river that night, we would see long snouts with teeth reaching above the water's surface and snap at dragonflies buzzing over it. So that discouraged us from swimming or fording across the river Leon that first night out on the run. The next morning we woke up and began our trek again. And both of us had agreed to backtrack to where we had seen a railroad track and steel bridge going over the river back into town near town. And once across we would sneak back on the east bank of the river and head south to Austin. I had family and friends in Austin so that was our target for now. This was day number two of our escape. Please note, we had noticed the huge concrete bridge with a highway going east and west over the river, but that was too risky with traffic and all. So that's why we decided to try the tracks instead. And as the sun was just climbing to about 10 a.m., that morning, we had managed to low-crawl up to the steel bridge on the west bank. And as I searched the area around us I saw a neighborhood above us on a small hill. I saw a little White girl getting out of a car with her mother and I believe both of those people saw us hiding down below in the thickets. But I know that it was the little girl who was about 7 or 8 years old that saw us first because she ran after something near the wood line at their driveway and looked down at us where we were hiding. Then the mother came to see what she was looking at and she noticed us then too. Then the mother whirls her baby into her side and rushes inside their house. And as they noticed us I told Fernando that we needed to get up and walk across that steel bridge and go before that White woman called the Law. And with the utmost serious determination we said, "Let's go." But as we started to get up we had to rapidly get back down. Because coming down on the opposite side of the river and on that hill facing town, was a big burly White man in blue jean overalls with white T-shirt on, and fishing gear in hands. This character looked like "Jr." in one of those favorite of mine Country Western Comedy shows on T.V. Buck Owens. Shit!, This was a scene right out of Andy of Mayberry, in a real White Marlboro Man's Country backdrop. And then our spirits sank and we had to wait and see what would happen next. Then this guy started to place all his gear in place on the ground. Afterwards he baited the hook on the line to his fishing pole and put the fishing pole on a short Y stick that he buried in the ground, with line in the river and then sat down. I remember that as we watched Billy really start to make himself at home in these beautiful outdoors, I could see the red and white float bobbing up and down on top of the water ever so freely and nonchalantly. It seemed so quiet and peaceful out here, like when one can feel still waters run deep in their soul. And it was beautiful and serene in this amazingly natural picturesque scene. It was like as if Norman Rockwell had painted this piece of art himself.  As I reflected while there about the days at our river, I could still remember scenes like this from those Field and Stream magazines that I used to read at the James Bowie Elementary school library when I was younger. But I gathered my senses and I knew that we had to keep moving, however, we couldn't go up the hill behind us. And now we couldn't even cross over the tracks because of this early morning fisherman who most likely was a farmer. Then as Fernando and I watched this White guy some more, he reached for a magazine from his gear bag. Then he leaned backwards as if to relax and enjoy the awkward tight sitting position that he was in. And as he did, he began to slide off his shoulders the suspenders of the overall pants, and then unbutton his pants fly, as he held the magazine open to his face. Then he just completely laid back on his back and with the magazine still held to his face with his left hand, then he began to masturbate with his right hand. Hell, we sure were not expecting this in the script nor in this peaceful serene bright sunny morning scene with fishing floats merrily bobbing up and down gently down the stream. And as he laid back and went off into La La land, Fernando and I took off going south again and still on the west bank heading into deeper mysteries as we anxiously anticipated another Jason and the Argonauts episode. And the Golden Fleece for us was not gold, but freedom to be what we wanted to be. And sometime around 2 p.m. noon I told Fernando that we needed to go back on that highway and go west and follow that road the hell out of Gatesville. And at that moment for me it didn't matter where it was leading as long as it was out of Gatesville. I told him that sooner or later we would find an overpass going back south. And Fernando agreed and so we trekked back into the woods and across a long distance of nothing out there, and as far as we could get away from that evil river. By this time we were thirsty and hungry and there was no food or potable water in sight. And as we walked on we saw a large ranch house out here in the middle of nowhere. But we saw a dirt road that led to this house and we supposed that that long road would take us to the highway that we were heading to. However, first we thought to investigate the premises to see if anyone was at home. And as we snuck up to the house we didn't see any cars there and the front door was opened. There was a screen door to the front door and it was unlocked. We searched all around this house and no one was home. As one walked into the front door of this house one would enter the kitchen. This was a very nice and big ranch house. All the furnishing was all there and if you had walked into this place yourself you would have been amazed at how everything was set in its place. The family's happy pictures hung on the walls and sat on shelves, and everything that once belonged to these people was situated like they were out for lunch or work and school. Their clothes hung in the closet and fireworks laid on top of the desk, along with money. It was simply beautiful here. There were many pictures of him and her; the young couple that lived here and their children. And as we searched for food in the refrigerator and freezer we noticed that the electrical power was cut off and all the food in there had spoiled. All the food in the cupboard was gone. The bread on the table had spoiled also. And the water was cut off. There were rifles and guns here, but we left those alone. We decided to leave this place except that we would exchange our clothing and shoes for his. And after changing clothes we took off with some of the money not all. We took about 20 dollars and left. We left everything there the way that it was. We moved nothing because we saw on a table legal paperwork that had been filed on this White young man who was a Captain in the Army at Fort Hood, Texas and had been charged with Cattle Rustling and given 10 years at T.D.C.. And as we left we didn't even know what Ft. Hood was or where it was. All we knew was that we felt bad for this beautiful family. You should have seen all the pictures on every wall throughout this majestic ranch house out in the middle of nowhere. I can still see it now, beautiful and glorious, yet abandoned and left to rot. And as we followed on the side of the road a ways down, we decided to take a short cut through a plowed field believing that the highway was ahead of us. To me, a plowed field in the middle of the woods out in no man's land, seemed strange as we walked across it. Then out of nowhere we see a White man riding on a brand new yellow tractor cutting across the field where we are. Then he notices us and drives up to us and asks us if we were lost. I told him that we were not lost because our car had broken down on the highway and we were just cutting a shortcut back to it. I told him that I had made a call to my family from town so that they could come and help us and that now they are on their way. Then he said, "Well good luck to you guys. But before you go into those woods up ahead, be careful with a mean big bull there." Then I said, "Thank you sir for that information" and then we left. And then as we got to the wood line the White farmer yells at us and screams , "Hey! Guys, wait", and he charges with his tractor towards fast. By now we knew he was onto us and so we ran into the woods and lost him. And by now it's late again and the sun is going down and we are heading north by northwest in the woods. And then it got dark on us again and we are navigating through rough country in the dark. I remember that my hair looked like a porcupine's hair because we were not allowed to get haircuts at lock up. And I hadn't gotten a haircut in over 30 days. I looked like a wild man for sure. But now I had nice free world clothes on though, and a Cattle Rustling Captain's clothes at that. Now, how better can that get? But I still feel bad for the guy and for what he lost. And we walked until it seemed it was midnight. And I remember our complete excitement as we walked onto the edge of a top of a tall hill that night and saw lit up lights as far as our eyes could see in the great valley down below. As we stood there up high I knew that somehow we were on the northwest side of these great lights below. Man! Fernando was thrilled and so was I as we looked at all the lights stretching deep and wide to the south of us. Man, we were happy because we thought that we finally have come to a place where at least we can get a ride. And then when I kept looking harder to see what I was looking at, it dawned on me that we were looking down at Mountain View School and all of Gatesville, Texas from the north side. This realization made both of us sick. And the only reason I remembered the Great Exodus story of the Bible was because of the movie about The Ten Commandments that my dad had taken us to see when I was younger. And as I finally realized on top of that hill that night was that Fernando and I had been going around in extremely large circles on the east side of Gatesville for two whole days and three nights. And I really felt like we were really being punished for our hard headedness to do things whether anybody else likes or not, in our own way! But I never accused Fernando of being the reason for our misfortune at any time ever. We had been through so much shit in two days together that I just said to him that night on top of that hill in the woods, I said," Fernando we are walking back to that bridge over that river in Gatesville and we are just gonna walk across it at dawn into town and run south into the woods. And at dawn circa 5 in the morning we began our walk across that bridge from the west side, after another sleepless night trekking through those Central Texas woods, and just walked. There was no one out at that hour on that stretch of highway as we crossed on the right side of that bridge going east into town. And we were feeling like this time we are really gonna make it because what were the odds that a Mr. Green jeans was going to be out here on this bridge at this hour masturbating and yelling Hee-Haw! as he gawks at a Playboy magazine. The walk was eerie and just simply haunting like walking into a Portal into the Outer Limits as we walked uncaring one way or another over that "what do you call this bridge." And just as we were coming to the end of the bridge on the east side, we heard a car coming our way. And as we looked behind us we saw the headlights beaming bright and getting closer. Fernando looked at me and wondered what I was gonna do. So I looked at him without saying anything to him because by now we were completely demoralized. So as the car came to a stop on the side of us, there was a White middle aged man driving. And he asked me because I had my thumb out hitching for a ride, "Where are you guys heading?" Then I said, "To Temple." Then he said, "I'll take you all  there, hop on." And with smiles on our faces we get in the car with Andy. I climbed in the front seat and we take off. Well, when we get to town he makes a left turn going north and I know that Temple is East of us, Then I tell him that he is going the wrong way and he tells us that he is going the right way. Then as he drives further down the road we see The Schools ahead and he smiles. Then I looked back at Fernando and he shook his head in disbelief. Then this guy pulls up at Hill Top and guards come out to meet us at the main office. Then they escort us into the building and then there they commence to beat us mercilessly. And as for Andy who was driving the car, he was a guard coming to work here at Hill Top. After the beatings, and as the beautiful sun rises, they take us to the hospital there to treat our wounds from the beatings and after they patched us up they loaded us into a jeep with two guards and hauled our ass to Mountain View School. And when we arrived there we still hadn't had any food or water for days until that evening at supper time. Both Fernando and I looked like wild Injuns when we walked into this place. And for some reason some invisible Being did not let us cross that River to head south. But as time passes and I end up at The Ramsey One Unit at T.D.C. I will deal with residues of that U.S. Army Captain's Ranch and Cattle Rustling Company one more time. And how can I forget that family after this encounter there. I love you "Father" I really do! And as for Fort Hood we didn't know that that place would be a place that we would still have to cross on our way to Austin. Providence does punish and but it still extends Mercy with its' Justice. Because some areas at Fort Hood are extremely dangerous there, I know now but didn't then. And in closing, I have to say as a way of making an observation that can summarize what I have seen up to this point in my life, and that is,  if we leave things up to a Man and a Woman to care for a majestic beautiful Paradise, it won't be to long before those two turn that Tropical Bird of Paradise into a Royals Cuckoos Nest in a nightmarish Twilight Zone. I told you guys that Providence is a strange phenomena. I will close here. Let us sleep on that for now. And just picture in your mind the last black train stop at Gatesville Reform School for me is Mountain View. Once here I called for a taxi to come and pick me up. And someone at the station told me that a snail had just climbed on top of the turtle in San Marcos and was pulling a little red wagon behind it and was on its way. And he said for me to wait because they would pick me up soon. And as I waited for my ride, and as I listened to Arron Neville sing Tell it like it is, this will be my house for the next 22 months. Thanks again Amigos and goodnight.                                                                                                                                                                                                        Respectfully,                                                                                     Ruben N. Gutierrez