Awa, We are in parts Of Ezekiel Ch.10!

 Bloggers, if it hadn't been for the gravely serious back problems, and the extremely high heart blood pressure that back problem has created for me, I would feel good at the age of 74. It really is a miracle that I am even walking or still alive now. I know I owe that to my God, and to the many Doctors at the Audie Murphy Veterans Hospital in San Antonio, Texas. And I am grateful for that and always will be. I have been going to Audie Murphy V.A. Hospital for treatments since 1978. And ever since I got out of the U.S. Army in 1976 after six years in the Infantry, I know that I have lived with a high tolerance for pain, but I have never liked it. Even now I have condition my mind, body and soul, to endure severe pain without narcotics or alcohol. I don't like this feeling of constant pain and tiredness, so I go out and fast and take myself hiking in rough woods with my heavy back pack and drink very little water at least on a Saturday or Sunday. And out there just like when I am here sitting just reading or working in the yard, I am constantly ruminating on my dreams and on my God. And every time that I go out from my Tin Can Chicken Shack, I meet complete strangers out there, and some are good friends that I have met before, and we begin sharing personal stories with each other. These exchanges always begin with short talk and end with stories steeped deep with tragic ends. And as I travel, I have noticed for myself anyway, that "Female Nurses" are almost always on my path. Whether it is in hospital settings, or out and about in public. And these women move me more that all the others because they share similar stories and outcomes. All I can say further about this is that my heart goes out to all females, but to Nurses the most. And to be honest, I did get involved romantically with a few nurses, and maybe a female Doctor or two. But, we kept it clean and with respect, but we knew because of the chemistry in our presence, that we did care about taking this feeling for each other further. But, in the back of my mind, I always had another Mexican American woman who had reject me on my mind. And it was this other Irma from Martindale, Texas that stole my heart after my wife had died. And after all these years since she has rejected me, I have met many many beautiful and fine sculpted middle aged women in all shades of skin colors that have left me baffled silly and cross eyed. And their smiles, Oh! you should have seen those smiles, they could make any real man melt into a great puddle of hot water on the ground at their command. And all I could do was walk away from them and wish them well, because that was only our exteriors being revealed, not what was truly inside. And besides, these Beauties would always have a common thread or refrain to warn me about as I searched for Mrs. Right. They would always say to me without fail, "Ruben, be careful when you are dealing with females! They are evil and treacherous, and they will use you and take you for your money. Ruben be careful, because women cannot be trusted! And if you are riding in a nice car now, soon you will be riding an old bicycle." Then I would respectfully ask them sort of teasingly and say, "Well, how do you know that to be the case?" And they would laugh and say, "Ruben, because we are women!" And then we would part on that good note and I can still picture their beautiful faces even now. And all I can say now is, that at 74 years old today, that there is nothing on earth that can compare to a good woman...,  "Nothing!" And but because I am in such bad physical condition, the prospects for having Irma Duran or any other woman in this life for me is nil. And all I can say now is... that this is the Poetic Romantic Sweet Note that I wanted to end my last days on earth singing. I wanted to end the last days with my right leg wrapped over that woman's romp in my sleep instead of my pillows and blanket. And as I slept I was gonna be Praising God and repeating over and over, "Thank You Jesus!!! But instead I received God's Poetic Justice and but I am still Praising Jesus and saying, Thank You, Thank You, because You are Righteous and Merciful anyway. Well, He has let me talk to countless females so far; Black Beauties, White Beauties, Asian Beauties, and Mexican Beauties, doesn't He deserve to be worshipped for that? Yes He does! For someone like me who truly loves the entire physical make up of a true female, and love the way that she walks and talks; and when she sneezes and I watch her whole body shake, man!, what can I say, but say, "Thank You Father!" So in closing let me leave you again, with these short dreams that I have had. These will deal with God's Infinite Love for His Creation and Judgement against those who hate Him. The first dream opens up into a view of a hill with sloping layered terrace sloping down hill into a valley. I see myself sitting inside a restaurant at the top of the hill looking down at a small town below. The restaurant has large picture windows facing 360 degrees all around the hill. I can see that down at the very first layer of terrace coming up this same hill are opened little Cafe type eateries. All I see here at this place is mostly White people. Anyway, I am looking out towards what seems the South view and as I look I see waters are raising and flowing towards this town as a light drizzle rain begins to fall. And as I look I know this is not a good thing coming. Then all of a sudden a beautiful Mexican baby boy with medium dark skin about a little over a year old appears sitting on my laps. And as I look at him I am shocked by his presence, but he too is looking towards these raising waters. And as I look at him I fall in love with him immediately and he with me. Then he looks at me and points with his right fore finger at the waters, but he can't speak yet. So I tell him like a parent does when teaching them to speak and say simply to him, "Awa!" And he looks at my mouth and says, "Awa!" And I encourage him and say, "Yes." Then as I keep looking to the bottom of this hill, I see a richly dressed White man from way below at one of the opened eateries, as the drizzle begins to turn to rain. And he says to the baby boy as he is turned back to look up at us and says this, "Don't listen to Ruben, he doesn't know what he is talking about!" Then the baby boy sees the waters have covered all the town and the waters has also covered the open eateries at the first layer of terrace below where the White man was, and is still raising. Then he turns to look up at me again and points to the waters and says, "Awa!" And then I look at his beautiful brown eyes and say, "Yes... Awa!" And then I look away from him in sadness and back at the waters and he does too, and I speak to myself out loud and say to everyone there, and to myself and the baby, "Yes..., Awa!..., it means that we are all in trouble!" That ended this dream. Then I want to share this dream too. As the dream opens, I see a small White peoples community out in open range and the time period was for 1870's or '80, and was set in the South West or the Plains in the U.S.. As I look, the White people are all out doing their daily chores at mid day and the sun is shining bright and the kids are out playing as the women do laundry outdoors. The men are out working in the fields and are attending the cattle as the cows graze on the grass. Then out of the wood lines lots of Indians on horse back are charging these people who have been caught completely off guard. The Indians and their beautiful powerful horses are painted in war paint. They kill the White people like in a massacre and they kill everything in site. They kill even the cows. I remember one young handsome strong Indian warrior jumped of his horse as he charge a cow grassing on the grass and stabbed it on the neck. And as I looked at the cow I saw it pick up its head in shock and all I could see was her complete shock in her big eye. Then as the Indian drew out the big knife from the cows neck, he place his mouth on the wound as blood gushed into his mouth. Then when he had had his fill, he let out a loud yell of victory and then I saw the tan cow fall to the ground dying. Then as the Indians left the scene, all I could see was the White peoples bodies laying dead and scattered all about the land. Their houses were burned down and even the kids were dead. Then I heard a great man's Voice from heaven speak and say this, "Could it be that we are seeing parts of Ezekiel Chapter 10 playing out right now?" This ended this dream. Then here is the last dream that I want to share before I close. As this dream unfolds before my sleeping eyes, I see that I am curled up in a ball in my bed reeking with back pain. And as I lay there in my boxer underwear, I sense an evil spirit in the room. And in the dream I sit up on the edge of my bed and looked all around to see who it is. Then an old man appears standing looking at me and I knew right away that it was Satan. And I look at him without fear and he looks at me just the same. Then he asked me in Spanish, "What is wrong with you Ruben?" And I tell him that there is nothing wrong with me. Then he looks at my right foot all the way up to my knee and says to me, "Ruben, your leg is dying right?" And I look at my leg and foot and I say to him, "Yes!, My leg is dying because there is hardly no blood flow to it, but when it dies..., I will die too!" This ends this dream. You see Satan was right, my foot and leg are almost black now compared to my light skin left leg. And it is gravely painful, but that is because of my stupidity and sins. I am not suffering because I am a good person. Well, I may be sometimes, but not always. So that is what Ezekiel Chapter 10 is about. It means that God has not only lifted the hedge from over me but that He Himself has left my A.O. and that translates that I am out of Grace and Favor from Him. Right now as I make my way back to Him humbled and humiliated, it is even compounding the physical pain and makes it worst. America are you listening! Your God has left you too because of your great whorish pride like the one He left the Whorish Israel of old for too, and now you are groping in the dark like a blind bat bouncing of the walls and don't know what to do. You had a good home America..., but you left that good home for a grass hut in the hottest desert in the world. Talk about being stupid! Ruben, you are not the only one. And you thought that all that Worldly Wisdom and Monies would save you. So let let us sleep on that for now. The best to those who make a wise decision to turn back to God. And before I make my exit, I will shout again, "There's nothing like having a Good Faithful Loyal Woman on this Earth!" There is nothing more Powerful then True Righteous Love between a Man and a Woman. See what Love can do, even in old age Love can drive people insane and it can make us exceedingly Happy. Enjoy!!! Don't screw it up like me and America have done. Amen. Thanks again.                                                                                                                        Respectfully,                                                                                                                                              Ruben N. Gutierrez