Without Holiness kiss Heaven goodbye!!!

Bloggers, it's been almost two and a half years since I've been to Church. And I know that I would love to go back to a good Church where I could hear Sound teachings and preachings on the Word of God which would bring all the Bible alive and in a clear picture to me. As for myself I need more Word than just the same stories from the New Testament and few Old Testament passages that most Mexican American Churches preach and teach constantly. And as for the Contemporary White Americans and their Churches I know that I would feel okay with their teachings, but not the worship services. I need the loud true type of worship style of many of the Mexican American Pentecostals. And as for many of the contemporary Black American Churches, I would rather not attend even though I loved the Old Time Black Church and loved it more than any other American Church, even more than the Catholic Church for certain. When I think of the Catholic Church, I think of the Fig Tree Jesus Christ cursed because it had a form of godliness but no Fruits. And that is true for many American Liberal and Ecumenical Protestant Churches today as well. Therefore, I have been in a Quandre for these past couple of years and am still debating with myself where to go to Church. It seems that all Churches have some good qualities and then some bad ones to go along with the good. Nevertheless, God commands that we do not neglect the assembling of ourselves together with Believers to worship God and to hear the Word of God, and to lift each other up in the Faith. This is a Command and God is not pleading for us to do this as if He is begging us or asking us to do this. So, as one can see, this is a burden that has been weighing heavy on my mind. However, I am the type that seems very content with learning the Word of God all by myself and worshipping God also by myself. I enjoy studying His Word without no one having to push me to do it. I love waking up in the mornings and begin to learn more and more about Him and all that He has done in the past and present and will do in the future. I am not stuck on pet verses and subjects and refuse to see beyond those things. This habit of mine is not confined to the mornings either but is habitual throughout all the day and night and has been this way for going on fourteen years now. I am not saying that I am striving to be a holy man or a hermit, but I simply love the Word of God. But why do you love God Ruben? Because I need His help every day of my life and He is everything to me. When I study His Word it's like walking into the shower and grabbing a bar of great soap and after washing down and rinsing off, I feel fresh and clean. Hence, I know I am better of clean then being dirty and stinking up a storm. And God says in His Word that when A Christian approaches Him in Holiness, He will hear that Christians prayers and receive their worship. But God will not hear our prayers if we are not in obedience to His Commands. So, there again we see that God is a merciful and loving God because although a Christian like myself who doesn't attend Church at present, can still have a good relationship with Him but not the best. Why not the best Ruben? Well, because I am not in God's Perfect Will! But He knows that I love Him extremely very much. And He knows that I have my peculiarities about Pastors and their Churches programs. He knows that I am not a social creature because once I begin to talk to people, they are easily offended, or they are simply afraid of people with criminal backgrounds like mine. When people ask me about something, I answer with what is on my mind and I know about just like the way that I write. I am truthful and brutally honest about what I believe. Why is that, Ruben? Because I don't want people to think that I am a phony or a fake. In God's business that kind of false behavior is very bad. Like I said earlier that kind of behavior will nullify any prayer request on the part of any human being from reaching or being heard by God. I said I need His Help every day of my life. For instance, in the last two weeks my only daughter and I underwent separately two near death experiences for the same medical reasons. Both of us were about to suffer strokes because our doctors had changed my daughters' medications and added a couple to mine. She ended in the hospital for two days and I told my V.A. Hospital providers that I would ride out my storm. But they insisted after I described my symptoms to them that I check in at my hospital in San Marcos, Texas immediately because I stood a great chance of dying at home. And all I had done was to call the V.A. on the phone to notify them that I was not going to take the two new prescribed medication of January 27th, 2025, anymore because I was suffering extremely bad side effects from the medication. And this is not the first near death experience from prescribed medications or the lack of taking them for me. My doctors are shocked that I am not at counseling for trauma from these experiences. But my prayers to my God were heard when I prayed for my daughter because I asked her, who is praying for you right now while you are there in the hospital? And she said only me Dad. So even in my condition I prayed for her more fervently than ever before and she is back to work and doing better. I rode out the storm and believed that it's not our time to die. Further, I believe that as long as I continue to get closer to God, even though it is being done my way for now, I am Cleaning all my House from as much evil and wickedness and sin as possible. The Church can't do that for me..., I have to do that for myself. I know that not only am I cleaning myself when I am doing this but my whole family as well. Nevertheless, I am going to make my way back to the House of God one day soon, I have to because I want to please God in all my efforts to Worship and praise Him. May it be a good Church please because without holiness we cannot see God. What does that mean Ruben? Well, it means that no matter what form of godliness we may express outwardly..., we can kiss heaven goodbye if we are not holy inwardly!!! So Let Us Sleep On That for now and thanks again.                                           Respectfully,                                                                                                                                             Ruben N. Gutierrez