Cat Shit and the Black Hound that guards the Gates of Hell!!!

Bloggers, I learned a valuable financial lesson from my late wife that I still employ daily in my life even now. And that is..., to live within our means. Man am I glad that I had a wife that understood the value of money. And she grew up the same way as I did, dirt poor. I am glad that she kept me focused on the business of what really matters in a family. She would say that the idea for a family was to keep that family together. And that is what we did even when we thought that we couldn't stand each other and that we would end up breaking up our relationship eventually. For 41 years it was a struggle for us, and the lack of money was the main culprit to many of our quarrels. Nonetheless, I did believe in her philosophy about the family and why that was important. I loved my wife, but interferences from outside sources complicated our lives, and for the most part it was budgeting our monies. But it wasn't just the love between each other that glued us together, it was our babies. And those kids demanded and required a lot of financial care as well. But they gave us more reason to work hard to solve the money problems as a team. Again, it was the wife who had the math head as well as the accountant's. And it was her juggling and managing of the monies that kept the hounds away from me. And I liked that, and that is the reason I gave her every penny and nickel I made, I mean everything! Because if it was up to me, I would have been like the "Jerk" when he came upon all that money he got, I would just give it away to anyone with a sad story also. Therefore, I owe a lot to Irma Reyes my deceased wife for keeping me floating even now. I have learned a lot about life from our experiences together. She knew that I was to kind and wanted to help people in need, especially my family outside our marriage. She hated when other people would bring me their problems and get me entangled in them. She would tell me that I needed to tend to our own needs. However, I felt compelled to help those who asked me for help. But then I would find myself walking in a cats' poop while bare footed. Many times, I found myself literally working for free for months and begging Corporations to help in providing free materials for some of these people who asked me for help. Believe or not, several Corporations did help. But my wife was on the verge of divorcing me for... my over the board generosity. Yes, I was a fool as I think back on those days. But I survived and she didn't. However, about the cat shit, although I state it metaphorically, in reality and in the spiritual sense, it is a fact that unwanted baggage in one's life can seem like we did step into cat poop. Recently I had a dream about such a thing or incident. But good thing that as I walked in cats' poop with both feet, that as I walked on, I saw a driveway that was layered with pure thick sand. And the driveway was wide and long, and I dragged both feet deep into the sand to clean both feet off completely of cat shit! Then as I saw both feet clean, I saw a relative of mine walk up to me and asked me what was wrong. And as I saw a lawn chair on side of the driveway, I sat down and I said to her, "I am tired of this shit!' And she said, "Well, let me get a chair and sit down." Here that dream ended. But don't you get tired of others putting baggage that doesn't belong to you on your back because they want you to carry it for them, or for others, for a greater cause. Hey, I was doing fine all by myself with my own baggage, I don't need anyone's else troubles or problems. I have said many times before, that I am like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz when she warned the Scare Crow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion, that they shouldn't hang out with her because she had a Witch mad at her. Well, I not only have witches mad at me, but devils and demons, and Satan too. I have my own financial problems as well and I live an extremely frugal lifestyle. Recently I have had to even reconsidered the remarriage thing after reading all the Inheritance Laws. At my age now, I believe that I should hold on to the freedom that I value and cherish dearly now. I don't need any more troubles. I have also been discouraged by the Remarriage and Divorce Laws as well. Nah, that is not baggage that I am willing to take on at this juncture of my life. All the everyday hassle of life is enough headaches for me. Why take on more if I don't have the means nor the energy to handle those expenses. Right now, my anger problems are causing me to question whether I will make it to Heaven or not? And I know that I need to stay away from situations where I know that I can lose it. And that is a most pressing issue for me right now. I wish I could describe a dream that I had a couple of nights ago about the afterlife in detail. But I will try to do it justice in brief so you can know that some mythologies do hold some truth to them. And also, that one day we will end up in one or the other of two places after we die. This is something serious to think about at any age. Here goes my dream, "As I walk at night through a very dark place out in the country among some hills, I see a mountain up ahead of me. And as I got closer to this rocky mountain, I saw a large crevice between it. So, I had to go through it believing it would take me to the other side. And as I walked in, I saw that it descended downward and it got darker. But I had to go this way because there was no other way to get around. And as I kept walking, I saw carved rock artifacts laying all around this cave. Then I saw men walking around also along this path who seemed lost as well. I recognized one guy, and others recognized me and my family. But most of these people I knew were dead. And then I came upon a "Y" on this path, or a junction, and so I stopped to think about which direction I should keep on. And as I looked to my left, I saw three large Root Beer colored rocks that looked like elongated eggs laying to the left of that entrance rock wall. I am a Rockhound, so I thought, "Hey, let me look at those rocks more carefully before moving on!" And just as I made a turn to move into this opening into this part of the cavern, a huge Black Hound that looked like a cross between a Doberman Pincer and a Rotwieller come up out of nowhere and jumped in front of the entrance and blocked it with his body and gave me a mean evil growl, and he didn't give way. And I was not about to mess with that dog. And so, I kept on the straight path that I was on until I came upon a narrow path on the edge of this tall mountain. And it was so narrow that I had to hug the face and wall of the mountain to keep from falling into the pitch black bottomless drop off. I did this until I came to a place where there was a narrow gap between the end of the path and the other land mass on the other side. And so, I jumped over the gap and landed in the land of Reality safely and kept walking to my destination until I woke up. This ends the dream. But... did you see who guarded the Gates of Hell? That Black Hound of Hell will not let no one in there that doesn't belong there or let anyone out of there who is locked up there forever. Remember, there is only Heaven and Hell. And that issue is what weighs more on my mind right now. I can guarantee you it weighs more on my mind than a woman does or getting into financial debt. Material things are the least of my worries at my age. However, if you have a Vision and God is in it..., and you have the means and energy to go for it, then go for it! The best to you. So Let Us Sleep On That for now. Thanks again.                                                                                                              Respectfully,                                                                                                                                               Ruben N. Gutierrez